Mr & Mrs Whatever Geoff's Last Name Is
by JC 619
Summary: Geoff, and Bridgette are in a Floundering Marriage. However things change when the two learn that they are both Killers for Hire. Fanmake of ToH XVIII story not the Movie.


Hey Folks, Before you read this Fic, I should tell you this isn't based on the Hit Movie _Mr. & Mrs. Smith, _But rather _Mr. & Mrs. Simpson _from _The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 18._ I was actually gonna make this on Halloween, but this Holiday works too. Hope you enjoy it. I only own Jared.

* * *

><p><em><span>Geoff, and Bridgette had been together since they were both Sixteen, and by the time they were 21, They were Happily Married. They even brought a Baby Boy named Jared into the World. However, They were in their mid Thirties &amp; There Marriage was starting to suffer.<span>_

**(Some Office)**

Bridgette, and Geoff were seated. Bridgette was wearing a Blue Blouse, and a Teal Skirt with some Loafers. Bridge's Hair was now Mid Neck.  
>Geoff meanwhile was wearing a White Shirt, and Blue Jeans. He retired his Cowboy Hat, and grew a Goatee.<p>

"You see, The problem is that We've started to grow apart." said Bridgette.

"The problem is that You don't share my Interest in not being with you." replied Geoff.

"You see, We can't even agree with our differences." said Bridgette.

**(Next Day)**

Geoff walked into the Bathroom, and then Locked the Door. Geoff headed to the Medicine Cabinet/Mirror, opened it, and then pulled a Bottle of Codliver Oil. Suddenly, The Tub, Toilet, and the Shelves holding the Towels turned to the other side of the walls like a Bookcase in a Mystery. Replacing them were sets of Guns, Swords, and other Weaponry. The Mirror then changed into a TV Screen which featured Chris McLean wearing an Eye Patch, and holding a Stuffed White Cat.

"Greetings, 365." said Chris in a Lousy Jamaican or Russian Accent.

"Why does he always keep referencing the Days I served Detention during High School?" said an annoyed Geoff.

"I want you to Eliminate this Mon, Noah Tyerie." said Chris as he showed a Photo of Noah who was now Wearing Glasses, and had his Hair Trimmed.

"He wrote an Expose aboot my erractic Spending by cutting Securtiy Standards." continued Chris.

"Don't worry Dude, I'll make it clean & quick. By the way, Your accent is getting better." replied Geoff.

"Thanks Mate." said Chris as his Eye Patch falls off revealing that his Eye was fine.

"End the Tape, End the Tape!" said Chris as the Tape then ends.

A short time Later, Geoff headed into the Kitchen, and saw Bridgette amking herself some Orange Juice.

"Hey Bridgey Bear." said Geoff as he gave her a Hug.

"Morning Geoffy." replied Bridgette as she jus smiled.

"I'm gonna be home late tonight, I'm going to Midnight Monkey Madness at the Zoo." said Geoff as he slightly stumbled verbally coming up with something.

"Yeah, I gotta overturn some Wheelbarrows Tonight, Just incase it rains." said Bridgette.

"Okay, Have fun at your crazy sounding thing." said Geoff.

"Same here." replied Bridgette as she began to drink so OJ.

"Love ya!" said both Geoff, and Bridgette as Geoff began to leave.

**(Later that Night)**

Noah was having a Fancy Dressed Party on top of a Small Building, having small talk with fellow Ladies, and Gentlemen. Unbeknownest to the Party Folks, An Assassin was about to end the festivities. Geoff had secretly donned a Construction Worker Disguise as he used an Elevator to get to the top of the Building.

"Hmmm... Time for my Lunch Break." said Geoff as he opened up his Lunch Case which actually concealed his trusty Sniper Rifle. After Geoff assembled the Rifle, He then took aim, and set his Target onto Noah.

"Now to say a Cool Line before I pull the Trigger." said Geoff as he thought of an interesting Quip.

"Ohh, I got one: Number 8 is about to be Eight- y Sixed." quoted Geoff.

Geoff is about to shoot, until he sees that Noah is preoccupied with a Brunette Woman in a Black Dress flirting with Noah, Blocking Geoff's Shot.

"Come on, Mystery Hussie, You're blocking my Shot." said an annoyed Geoff.

The Mystery Brunette begins to walk away as Noah begins to talk with another Gentleman when The Brunette fatally Stabs Noah in the Chest, Killing him.

"Hey, Now I don't get Paid!" said Geoff, Angry over his lost Deal.

Geoff began to shoot at the Brunette, Missing her but hitting afew other Party goers by mistake. The Brunette then pulls out a Shuriken & throws it, Clogging Geoff's Rifle.

"Now I'm mad." said Geoff until another Shuriken hits Geoff's Head.

"Now I'm Derpy Pony is Best Poni." said a slurred Geoff.

Geoff pulls off the Shurikens, and shoots at the Brunette. It hits the Brunette, Knocking off her hair, Revealing it to be a Wig. However, It turns out that the Assassin is none other then Bridgette.

"Bridgette is a Professional Assassin?" asked a shocked Geoff.

"Hmmm, Bridge would look pretty hot as a Brunette though." said Geoff, distracting himself from what he just found out.

Bridgette runs towards the Exit of the Building. Geoff quickly drvies back to the House as Bridgette was in the Kitchen holding a Sabre with Blood on it.

"Boy, You just can't get that Italian Mob Boss Blood off so easily." said Bridgette as she then hears Geoff coming in, hiding the Sabre behind her back.

Geoff walks into the Kitchen, and notices the Brunette Wig on top of the Blender with the Bullet Hole still in the Wig.

"Hey, What is this?" said Geoff, Questioning Bridgette.

"Umm, It's a Blender Cozy." said Bridgette, Covering her tracks.

"How was Midnight, Monkey Madness?" asked Bridgette.

"Oh it was great, I turned over so many Wheel Barrows, Wait that was your thing." said Geoff, Making Bridgette question her Husband's wereabouts.

About an Hour Later, Geoff was getting some dinner Bridgette made for him.

"Geoffy, I made you my killer Vegetarian lasagna." said Bridgette as she gave a Piece to Geoff.

"Wait, It's poisoned! Whatever you do, don't eat it!" Geoff said to himself until he starts eating it.

"Okay then, Just don't finish it Dude!" said Geoff to himself but he has allready finished the lasagna.

"Okay you finished it. But whatever you do, don't ask for..." thought Geoff until he interrupts himself.

"Seconds, please!" said Geoff as he gave his empty Plate to Bridgette.

"Geoff You moron, Just kill her!" Geoff thought to himself.

"I'll kill her after dessert!" said Geoff, Stunning Bridgette.

Bridgette then pulls out two Hand Guns from a Pie that was on the Table as Geoff wields a Shotgun.

"You're a Killer for Hire!" said Bridgette.

"You ruined that Pie!" replied Geoff.

The two then started shooting at eachother.

"Why didn't you tell me you were an Assassin?" asked an upset Bridgette as she rolled beind the Table.

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Geoff as he shot at Bridgette, but hit a Picture of himself.

"I told you Thirty times since we were Married, You never listen." said Bridgette.

"Relax Babe, I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world." said Geoff as he was reading a Magazine, Not hearing what Bridgette said.

Bridgette then chucks a Grenade at Geoff as Geoff jumps onto the Table. The Grenade explodes with the Blast sending the Table & Geoff up trough the Ceiling as Bridgette jumps into the Center of the Room. Suddenly, Geoff slides down the Banister of the Stairs with a Machine Gun, but Bridgette dodges the Gunfire, and ducks behind the Living Room Couch. The two then continue their Gun fight which results in massive damage to nearly everthing within the Home until they both run out of Bullets.

"Okay then listen, I'll do the Killing for hire & You stay home, and take care of Jared." said Geoff walking towards Bridgette, until Bridgette trips him.

"I make Fifty Thousand Dollars per Hit, How much do you make?" asked Bridgette.

"I get whatever is in the Guys Wallet." answered Geoff as he tries to jump back up, but Bridgette grabs him by the Leg, and chucks him into her old Surfboard, Breaking it in two.

"All those nights I thought you were out Partying, You were out killing people?" asked Bridgette.

"I was out Partying, then killing people!" replied Geoff as he grabbed a piece of the Board, and goes after Bridgette again. Bridgette ducks out of the way, and flings Homer back into the Living Room. Geoof however, Headbutts Bridgette over the Couch. Geoff then goes behind the Couch, and starts kicking Bridgette until Bridgette walks up to him, Revealing he was just Kicking the Couch.

"Stop it, My Aunt gave me that Couch as a Christmas Gift." said Bridgette.

"Why do you think I'm kicking it." said Geoff.

Suddenly, Jared walked down the Stairs. He was 12 Years, had Green eyes, Blonde Hair, and was wearing a San Jose Sharks Sleep Shirt, and Blue Sweatpants.

"Hey Mom & Dad, Are you guys fighting?" asked Jared.

Bridgette, and Geoff secretly discard their weapons, and walk up to their son.

"Now sweetie, We weren't fighting." said Bridgette.

"But what's with all noise, and damaged items?" asked Jared.

"Hey, Why don't you go & watch the rest of that Sharks vs. Red Wings Game?" said Geoff.

"Allright, Thanks Dad!" said Jared as he excitedly raced back to his Bedroom.

"Great, Now he's probably gonna fall asleep in School Tomorrow, Where's the Amazing Super Dad gonna be?" asked an annoyed Bridgette.

"At your Funeral." replied Geoff as he pulled out a Crossbow, and aimed it at an unarmed Bridgette.

Geoff is about to shoot until the Doorbell Rang. Suddenly, Duncan (Who was now a Cop) entered the House.

"Sorry to bother you two, But I just received some complaints by the Neighborhood about an Elaborate, Heavily Choreographed, Mega Violent, Ultra Gun Fight." Duncan stated until Bridgette grabs the Crossbow, and shoots Duncan with it, Killing him.

**(Meanwhile)**

Courtney, and Gwen are walking down the Street near eachother when Courtney suddenly shakes oddly.

"Uh..., What was that?" asked Gwen.

"Huh, Suddenly I feel alot better about myself, Wanna be friends again?" asked Courtney.

"Sure, I know a cool Coffee Shop." replied Gwen as the two walked together down the street.

**(Back at Home)**

"Wow that is hot, I love to see you do people." said Geoff.

"Same here." replied Bridgette as she pulled Geoff into a Hug.

"That can be arranged." said Geoff as he began to make out with Bridgette.

**(Back at the Office)**

"And so killing People together has really made our Relationship great again." said Geoff as he had his Arm around Bridgette.

"Um, While it is great to hear about your relationship is doing better, but I called you two here to discuss why your son brought a dead octopus to School." said Beth who was now Principle of the School.

Geoff, and Bridgette then look at eachother, and smile as they pull out some Guns, and then shoot at Beth as our Story ends.

* * *

><p>Well that's that. Jared was an OC I made for a shortlived Fic based on the Kids of the Original Contestants. Anyway,<strong> Reviews<strong> are up & **Happy Valentines Day.**


End file.
